Andie Snyder, LCSW - Win Win Behavior Change

Andie Snyder, LCSW - Host
Lenn M. Snyder, M.Ed., LCSW - Guest “The Optimal Intimacy Guy”

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Lenn Snyder, “The Optimal Intimacy Guy,”
spent over one hour answering questions centered
around creating and maintaining intimacy in your relationships.

Even if you made it on the call, having lifetime access
to the replay allows you to refer to this information
over and over again or share it with others you care about.

Order the Replay today and Create Win Win Relationships with Optimal Intimacy.

Or Take Advantage of our Limited-Time Special Offer - Buy the Replay of Both Seminars.

These are the questions Lenn answered (in depth) on May 7, 2008…

He gave very specific answers and used personal, business
and family experiences that every caller can relate to.

—> QUESTION #1
As a review from the last seminar,
Lenn gave a brief synopsis of his definitions of
Intimacy (self-to-self and self-to-other) and Optimal Intimacy
and what differentiates the one from the other.

—> QUESTION #2
Lenn expanded his discussion of Optimal Intimacy, about one’s connection with self and another person, based on 3 interlocking experiences of integrity, radical truth telling and emotional vulnerability, which make up a real intimate relationship.

—> QUESTION #3
Lenn shared the steps involved for an ordinary gal or guy to achieve first intimacy and healthy communication in a relationship and then Optimal Intimacy.

—> QUESTION #4
“ In creating and maintaining a primary intimate relationship, what is it between 2 people, what specific thing is it, in your experience, that causes couples to last and the relationship to grow?”

• “Life is foreplay”…. “acknowledgment, appreciation, validation, truth telling, and physical contact that is not sexual in orientation but connective in orientation”. …need that to deal with the stress and chaos of relationship…

• “A relationship that doesn’t have upset and chaos is likely to not be a relationship that grows. Because in order to grow a relationship up you have to move through the early childhood and childhood experiences and young adult experiences that feed into safety and survival that need to ultimately be changed for optimal intimacy to occur.”

—> QUESTIONS #5
“What do you think is the most effective way to help couples deal with their differences?”

•Lenn discusses the unconscious reasons people come together and why he feels “Relationship, ideally is the means for transformation.”

• Lenn tells us that “Differences allow for healing and growth and they are to be honored and not fought about. They are to be blessed and not argued over.”

—> QUESTIONS #6
“How do I teach my partner to touch me in a way that is exciting to me,
without hurting his feelings?

• Lenn turns the tables on the question… instead I would have the partner ask him or herself, “Why is it that my feelings get hurt when my partner wants to tell me what I can do to provide them with more pleasure, more excitement, more love, more connectivity, and a higher degree of sexuality, in their live and therefore in my life if their request was met.”

• More on the discussion of Optimal Intimacy (integrity, radical truth telling and emotional vulnerability) and communication about sexual intimacy.

—> QUESTION #7
“My husband and I have a loving caring relationship and never had trouble with intimacy or sex until I hit menopause. Sadly, I have felt completely depleted of ANY interest in sex or even intimacy. Satisfying each other is not a problem but I just don’t WANT it! I’m NEVER interested and don’t like pretending I’m in the mood. I feel my hormonal issue is to blame for me feeling completely depleted of ANY desire for sex or intimacy. Hormone supplements - both herbal and otherwise have not helped. Do you have any suggestions about how I can create intimacy?

• Lenn discovers surprising root causes with his own clients with this issue.

•Women might be happy to hear Lenn say that “Half of the story is how the husband reacts to the physical changes in her body. There are 2 people in the relationship and both have to look at what is my part in what is happening with oneself or the other.”

—> QUESTION #8
“Why is it that when I have enough money in my checking account, my relationship is working, I am feeling good about myself, life and everything else, then something comes along to create a big upset and I am back in the pits again?”

•Lenn describes the conflict between safety and survival and logic.

•The cup of Well-Being. “The more wellbeing you can hold in your cup, the longer it takes before Lenn’s Law kicks in.”

•Lenn’s Law – I have an unconscious limit to the amount of well-being I can tolerate and when I reach that limit I will do something, I will respond to something that creates chaos, an upset that will bring me back down below the limit of my well-being.

• Lenn gives a system to deal with Lenn’s Law and the judgments, justifications and “medications” that limit our well-being by keeping us safe and stuck.

—> QUESTION #9
“I have a wonderful 15-year-old son. My husband says that I spend too much time with him and that he feels cut out. He also feels that I ‘baby’ him too much. Any thoughts about this?

Lenn discusses…

•underlying issues for the husband to think about,

•underlying issues for the wife to think about,

•Attachment Theory,

•and Lenn’s Law.

—> QUESTION #10
“What do you recommend to say to single people who think they cannot meet someone special in a small town?

Lenn talks about…

• “Doing what turns you on”

•“Building friendships and connectivity”

•The Law of Attraction.

Order the Replay today and Create Win Win Relationships
with Optimal Intimacy.

We are running a limited-time special bonus if you want to
buy the replay of both seminars;
we will roll back the price of the first seminar if you buy both together.

Save $10 off the price of 2.